Recently, carrying an arm full of firewood into the house, I hurried to get the evening stove perked up before dark. My internal clock, significantly aggravated by the shorter days of winter, urged me on. It takes real effort for me to push through the major darkness this time of year. I recall Ken Brown and I having this conversation years ago as he was overseeing the shutdown of things at “The Wharf.” He, too, was bothered by the early loss of sunlight, and “seasonal affective disorder,” sometimes referred to as “SAD!” How appropriate! Ken even bought what we have come to refer to as a “Happy Light” to see if some counter measures could be marshaled against the affliction. We were bequeathed the Happy Light upon Kern’s passing by daughter Michelle. Didn’t do much good then. No significant results to announce now. Tried more vitamin D, too. No noticeable improvement.
When I checked the timing of my wood delivery, it surprised me to note that what I had guessed was around 4-430-ish was in fact a little bit after 5 p.m. Wow! There is hope. This time of year, as we gain approximately two minutes of daylight per day, I am beginning to feel “the change,” a little loss of the despair and overt couch time. Perhaps SAD might better be referred to as Seasonal Affective Depression, with the battle for energy ongoing, I feel like such a poop sometimes having to force myself to make it to 9 o’clock after the evening meal, especially when I feel like going to bed at 7! I don’t think there are enough “Happy Lights” to push me along. I try to avoid medication whenever possible and God knows a cup of coffee with dinner would send me around the bend. Maybe more of a kick than vitamin D but I’m afraid sleep would require a hammer blow to the head not to mention multiple trips to the bathroom and hours of creating magical drawings on the bedroom ceiling and driving my wife nuts with totally ridiculous stories about my youth!
I am encouraged every year by the 5 p.m. benchmark. We are creeping slowly toward what I refer to as “The Fires of Spring,” borrowed from an early James Michener book. I can feel the stoking of coals as some energy is drawn from the sun’s seasonal recovery. May the force be with those of us who are challenged by the dark side.